In a word, everything. There's little about the Royals organization, from owner David Glass to newest Royal Justin Huber (promoted from AAA Omaha today to replace Mike Sweeney who is, yet again, on the disabled list), that is right at this point in time.

This is a depressing spring. For the first time in my life, I feel about baseball as I do about the NBA: I have no rooting interest. I'm still following the Royals and obviously despairing over their plight, but their utter hopelessness, beginning with Opening Day, has left me with the feeling that, when I watch a Royals game on channel 6, it has no connection whatsoever with the Boston/New York game on ESPN that I flip to between innings. It's the same league in name only. After Jackson County voters rewarded David Glass with $250 million in stadium renovations to house his AA team, I decided that I wouldn't bother spending any futher money on a team on which the owner won't spend his own money...especially when Forbes reports that the Royals made a $20 million profit last year. Barring some signal from David Glass in the course of this season that he does actually give a rip about putting a decent product on the field, this may mark the first season of my life that I don't see a single Royals game. I'll catch some major league baseball, though, even if I have to go over to St. Louis and their glistening new ballpark to see it. I'll probably also head down to Wichita at some point to watch the Wranglers...who probably have better hitters on their roster than any other team in the Royals organization...including the major-league club.

What furthers the depression is that there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Allard Baird's succession of "youth movements" has never worked out, and we're left with an endless cycle of suck instead. Allard reminds me of Jim Wooldridge: seems to be a nice guy, good with the media, but things just don't seem to work out for him. He makes bad trades...he signs the wrong young players (see Angel Berroa) to long-term contracts (with the exception of David DeJesus)...players drop like flies due to injuries...players leave spring training with head issues...players let flies drop on their heads...and his organization couldn't develop young pitching if their life depended on it. Eventually, all these things add up to the conclusion that the general manager is incapable of setting a tone of success for the organization, and you just have to find a person who can set a different, more successful tone for the organization.

Past Baird, there are player personnel moves that need to be made. First off, Angel Berroa should be sent to Omaha or Wichita until he learns to a) not swing at bad pitches, b) not let ground balls through his legs, and c) think on the basepaths. We may be paying Berroa some money, but I'd guess that he's cost this team at least two games already this season, and more importantly, he sets a poor example for the other young players. If there is no accountability for his refusal to learn how to think or to be more disciplined in his play, then I fear for the development of the rest of the Royals' young talent.

There are other problems. Mike Sweeney comes to mind, as do John Buck, Mark Teahen, Joe Mays, and Emil Brown. If I continue to have any significant level of interest in the Royals as this season progresses, perhaps I'll write about my concerns regarding them. For right now, however, I'm going to settle in and watch the Royals go for a franchise-record 12th straight road loss to open a season. Go Royals.

Update 8:20 pm: Oh, dear Lord...if you love Kansas City, please just make it stop. Third inning, Angel Berroa gives the Twins an extra out by misplaying a routine ground ball, as is his wont. Twins proceed to score three runs with two outs, four runs total in the inning, as, following Berroa's error, Joe "Darrell" Mays remembers that he is Joe Mays and starts serving up meatballs. He continues with a delicious second course of meatballs in the fourth inning, at which point the Royals decide to stem the tide by bringing in...Jimmy "7 earned runs in 1.6 innings" Gobble. It would be funny if it weren't so tragic. I need a beer.

That's right: dollar signs.

If anyone is interested in joining a late-starting fantasy baseball league that drafts tomorrow night, drop me an e-mail.

...and the only prescription is right here.

Congrats to jocibug, the winner of the Third Annual Rattler Pick-Em despite having KU picked to win it all. She won on the basis of her pick of Florida to reach the national championship game. Jocibug scored a total of 86 points. To put this in perspective, you get 64 points "just" for correctly picking the winner of the national championship, and the overall Yahoo! leader this year scored 161 points.

Second place goes to Andy's Team. I'm assuming that this is my brother's entry, and will be sending the prize money along to him accordingly. I mean, nobody would make an entry using someone else's name, would they? If Andy's Team would have picked UCLA to beat LSU in the Final Four, he would have taken home first place.

Third place and no money goes to wild guesses, who had Florida and UCLA both in the Final Four, but had neither picked to make the championship game.

Previous two-time winner onecvj was denied the three-peat and finished 20 out of 26 pick sets.

Meanwhile, lucas brought up the rear with 38 points.

Thanks to all 26 folks who played this year, more than doubling the number we had last year. I'll be sending the prize money out to the winners soon.

http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/sports/14164056.htm

WOO-HOOOOOOOO!

Hire Huggy!

It's time for the third Annual Rattler Pick 'Em. Longtime Rattler reader cvj won the first two editions and will be going for the three-peat this year. There were 12 participants last year, and we're looking for even more this time around.

New for this year are actual prizes (beyond recognition on this illustrious site, of course). You can call the first place winner Aaron Burr, 'cause he's gonna have a crisp new Hamilton to drop after the Final Four. Second place will get $5. It's not much, but it's infinitely more prize money than has ever been awarded before, and there's no entry fee.

Here's how to enter:

1) Go to Yahoo! sports.
2) Group # is 52366.
3) Group name is "The Rattler Pick 'Em."
4) Password is "hirehuggy".

Deadline is the first game on Thursday, so sign up and make your picks!

The other day I happened across this advertisement for a book called Last in Their Class: Custer, Pickett and the Goats of West Point. It explains:
Today’s Goat, the West Point cadet finishing at the bottom of his class, is a temporary celebrity among his classmates. But in the 19th century, he was something of a cult figure.

So George Pickett and George Armstrong Custer both finished last in their West Point classes? Well, that might help explain two of the poorest decisions in American military history.

Yesterday, the Cats lost to the Oklahoma "We Have a Basketball Team?" Sooners by one point after a good deal of hammering by Kelvin's Thugs on KSU's final shot attempts, which prompted soon-to-be-former KSU coach Jim Wooldridge to say the following after the game:
“That’s what this league’s all about. They’re (the Sooners) supposed to win this ballgame, and we’re not. That’s what this league’s about,” Wooldridge barked to nobody in particular.

It also prompted Sooner Thug-In-Chief Kevin Bookout to say the following:
"You'd rather win by 10 or 15," Bookout said, "but the Lord works in mysterious ways. I think he's helping us out right now."

Well, if that's true, then I went to church for the last time this morning. I won't worship any god that helps the Oklahoma Sooners. (Regarding Bookout, Joe's remark to me a few minutes ago was that "maybe God should bless him with a brain larger than the size of a pea.")

I'll tell you who doesn't work in "mysterious" ways. Big XII referees. The only way to describe their work is as "consistently biased and/or crappy."

I think that there are definitely some supernatural dealings going on with the Sooners, but I think it's this: Kelvin Sampson made a deal with the devil. In return for being one of the best coaches in the country, consistently fielding a Top 25 team in Norman, OK, and winning almost all of his close games, he'd have to do it at a school that couldn't care less about the success of the basketball team.