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The Pagan Prattle Online
Loony Fundie Nonsense for the Masses


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Comments are getting switched off while we do generally geeky things. Once this entry disappears, they'll be back....

Bargain of the Day: a spectacularly ugly doll
One of the claims made in favour of religion is that is inspires great art. Today's bargain offers a strong counterpoint to that argument. In case you are wondering, the item in question is a hand-made figurine or, in the words of its creator, Ooak polymer clay mini girl and worship flag. There are many, many more pictures on the auction page, where we learn that this is not a one-off, but part of The Worship Collection from Mar’s little Universe. Hello from The Mar's little Universe Nursery. This is my 2nd in the worship mini collection. She is...

The Great Michael Jackson Conspiracy List
Well, that didn't take long. There are already two main conspiracy theories developing surrounding the demise of singer Michael Jackson: the first is that he was murdered in some symbolic way by the conspiracy; the second that he isn't dead at all. This list is really just a Wee Conspiracy List at the moment, but no doubt it will expand over time. The Conspiracy and chums He Aten't Ded He was already dead. Oddments....

Bargain of the Day: mail-order corpus crispie
A church is making a remarkable offer of interest of host desecraters everywhere: mail-order consecrated host. The cleric responsible, though, has already sussed that sensible and differently-superstitious people will take advantage of the service: He said the organisation was taking care and concern over appropriate packaging for the wafer, which is no more than a millimetre thick, to ensure it remained intact on arrival, before adding that anyone - including atheists and even satanists - could avail themselves of the service. Jesus did not make these distinctions. He gave himself to anyone and everyone. It makes no difference, the...

Crochet religious toys
Not wanting to step on the toes of What Not to Crochet, but there are some bizarre religious patterns out there. For example, there's this Venus of Willendorf doll. The same designer has also come up with a really impressive Kali and the Virgin Mary, which is an interesting threesome really. Another Goddess can be found in the form of Blessed Elements' Goddess for all Seasons, and the patterns for decorating her for spring, summer, autumn and winter. Those inclined towards East Asian traditions can make themselves a Maneki Neko. And we must not forget Cthulhu. Not a toy,...

Okay, already!
I've seen this all over the place, and I've just had the umpteenth suggestion that this is a Prattle story, so here it is: Will the Antichrist be a homosexual?... While the word homosexual is not in the Bible, the behavior of those who practice homosexuality, and God’s estimation of them, very definitely is. When the word came into existence I cannot tell you, but what we can say for sure is that when Noah Webster published his first dictionary in 1828, it was not included. This means that homosexuality is a modern word invented to replace the word...

World's greatest troll, or genuinely obnoxious? You decide!
United States: Fred Phelps has a new enemy: those dirty Yids. He's been protesting at Jewish establishments, handing out flyers blaming the Jews for killing their imaginary friend. Keeping with traditional anti-semitism, the also pretend not to know the difference between Jews in general, and the state of Israel: Margie Phelps and three fellow church members stood on the sidewalk and held signs stating that God Hates Israel, Jews Killed Jesus, America Is Doomed, Israel Is Doomed, and ADL Jew Bullies. One of the four women had an Israeli flag tied around her waist that dragged on the ground;...

Prattle sweep time again!
United Kingdom: How long before the superstitionists complain about this? I'm going for before the programme is even broadcast. EastEnders is to tackle one of the last taboos left in soap, with a storyline featuring a Muslim character embarking on a gay love affair. MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal that the plot, which will hit screens in mid-June, will see Syed Masood, a Muslim property developer with a girlfriend who arrived in Albert Square six weeks ago, fall for openly gay Christian Clarke. The pair will share an on-screen kiss. The BBC has billed the storyline as a traditional love affair,...

WILL LESBIANS TURN THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY GAY?
Martin of The Lay Scientist has been hanging around the Daily Mail web site, so that we don't have to. The level of his sacrifice can be judged by a recent article which featured a reconstruction of the first modern European human, who arrived from Africa and looks kind of, well, black. It seems that the BNP supporting types don't like being reminded that humanity evolved in Africa and that white skin is a relatively recent mutation. Rubbish. Europeans did not come from Africans and never could. This is just more anti-European propaganda, of as much real scientific merit...

The Little Mermaid
Egypt: The tentacles of the Jewish Conspiracy are everywhere, you know, especially if you're a bigoted bampot. The latest evidence is, apparently, the Starbucks logo, which is not the mermaid we all think it is, at least according to Safwat Higazi: The girl in the Starbucks logo is Queen Esther, he insisted. This queen is Queen of the Jews. And the crown she wears? This is the crown of the Kingdom of Persia. This girl you see is Esther, Queen of the Jews in Persia.... Can you believe that in Mecca, Medina, Cairo, Damascus, Kuwait and all over the...

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